dare to make eye contact

It was an extra busy week last week.  Lots of racing from appointment to audition to rehearsal, squeezing in last-minute appointments for wardrobe fittings and trying to be on time for all of it.  (I was up for the challenge.)  But as I bobbed and wove  my way through the congested downtown streets I noticed I was slipping back into an old habit.  It’s easier to not drop a few coins into a hat or a cup when you don’t see it, easier still if you don’t see the person who’s attached to the outstretched hand.

The majority of people take the easy way out and avert their eyes.  I get it.  Even if we’re not passing judgement it feels burdensome to confront someone else’s hard luck.  I feel worse about ignoring the person than I do about not giving them money – it’s one thing to deny someone my loose change but it’s another to deny their existence.  And so years ago I challenged myself to at least look them in the eye when I walked by shrugging or saying some combination of “sorry”,”can’t” or “not today”.   It was less of a challenge in Los Angeles where a lot of to-ing and fro-ing happens in the cloistered comfort of  your car.  But now I’m back facing several outstretched hands in the course of a day.

Now here’s the crazy beautiful part.  Most of the time I make eye contact, I’m rewarded for taking the time.  I’m wished a great day, I’m blessed by God, and sometimes I’m told I’m pretty.

Monday’s Manifesto:  Dare to make eye contact when you say no.  Definitely make eye contact if you toss a few coins.

ignored (Photo credit: Keith Bacongco)