Birthday pass

“It’s like a hall pass for bad birthday behaviour, and other ish.”

me, yesterday

Who doesn’t love celebrating a birthday?
There are very few questions that have unanimous answers, but look at the question. Even if you don’t enjoy celebrating your own birthday there is someone you love to celebrate and find the perfect gift for. I love love love scoring a one-of-a-kind found-by-kismet present for my sister. I used to love outdoing myself on gifts for my sweet mom every year. And I have loved surprising a boyfriend with a gift that lets them know I’m taking in all the details of our story.
Birthdays spark joy, generate good will, and nurture hope. 2020 needs more of all that. And cake. I need more sweet tastes for all the bitter pills.

I love birthdays so much I make them last more than a day. Cake becomes its own food group for the next week. And I have no problem with belated wishes. Sometimes I purposely send born day wishes late in the day to prolong a friend’s celebrations. Birthday love shouldn’t come with an expiration date. Today I sent a message to a friend who’s birthday was the 16th of May; it wasn’t a belated wish but a birthday anniversary shoutout. Sharing positivity is never a bad thing right?

Birthdays foster a generosity of spirit that manifests as The Birthday Pass. The friend that’s late for their own party. Birthday Pass. The messy drunk. Birthday Pass. The bossy birthday girl who wants everything just so. Birthday Pass. It’s only once a year, let it slide. And like all the myriad adjustments that have come with the pandemic, I’ve been letting the Birthday Pass slide in non-birthday situations.

Yesterday as I approached the floor decal spaced 6 ft from the person next in line for the cashier, a grown man sprinted to the spot like he was heading for home plate. I was forced to take two steps back to the next designated spot. I wasn’t in a hurry or hangry so I didn’t react with the customary scorn. I gave him a birthday pass. I wished the back of his balding pate a Happy Birthday and went back to enjoying my podcast.
Later, as I made my way across town in rush hour traffic, I gave one to the driver of the white Jeep who impatiently cut through the traffic cones to get ahead. I waved and laughed giddily as I wished them Happy Birthday. Traffic is worse than ever as people avoid the subway and streetcars, and normally I’d have a running monologue of invective and rage on the road but there are greater injustices to chafe against. Maybe I’ve finally discovered how to achieve the driving zen I strived for in LA all those years. Or maybe not. I’ll be honest, the good wishes in these Birthday Passes are for my own well being. I need antidotes for the traumas of this year.
Every visit to IG should come with a trigger warning.
Navigating the fresh abuses of each day, whether it’s the headlines, polling updates, or Facebook posts drains my energy stores. I don’t have stamina for the petty shit. Birthday Passes give me a moment of respite and pay forward a little hope, joy and good will.

Happy Birthday everyone. Give yourself a pass today. My gift to you.