Change is not hard.
I’ve said the opposite forever but I’m revising my position. Ah, change within change, how meta.
Change is not difficult if you remain curious. If you’re more curious you’re less afraid. Fear is always an element of the unknown and unfamiliar; but being curious means being receptive and welcoming to the new experience or information. It doesn’t automatically make it easier, but it impacts the quality of the experience.
Change is not hard. Change is challenging.
The challenge is in accepting the shift and being curious about it. Sometimes the shifts are subtle, like when I have to substitute sugar for milk in my coffee. My theory is that the sweetness dilutes the power of the caffeine. This is completely unscientific, just my opinion. Sometimes the shifts come like the grinding of gears in a standard transmission, like when a relationship ends or when the day is suddenly high-jacked by a friend in crisis or a death in the family. It is earth shattering and will bury you in emotional rubble for days on end.
Not all change is challenging. Shifts are constant, and oftentimes minor and imperceptible. It doesn’t capture my attention or curiosity when Trader Joe’s is out of my favorite bread. I accept I’ve come too late in the day and I carry on to the next aisle. When plans change at the last-minute, I accept the reason and am usually pretty deft at segueing to a plan B. Sure sometimes it’s an event that I was really looking forward to and I’m curious why my luck shifted in a shitty way. Curiosity can masquerade as moping until I find out the stage collapsed. And sometimes I’m overly curious about the inconsistent braking pattern of the driver in front of me and can’t help examining their profile as I pass them. But changing lanes isn’t exactly the point.
Curiosity is the key. I have no idea when or if I will set up a home in Los Angeles again, but I am more curious about starting fresh than hoarding dishes and draperies until that time. The 10 x 10 storage space has been completely purged and I am left with a desk, a lamp, and a dozen boxes. I accept that my experiences are more than my collection of tchotchkes. At this point in my life, a life half full of experiences and travels but purged of the symbolic detritus, I am curious about having a sparsely furnished space whose voids I fill only when I am passionately inspired to do so. I am curious about driving across the country solo, even as I accept that my next visit to LA will include the less than desired expense of a rental car. I’m more curious about having a better experience this winter because I’ll have a car . Of course change is so constant I might not be in Toronto this winter. Ah, the rabbit hole of change. I am more curious than I am fearful or resistant and that feels good. Even when change doesn’t feel good, I can feel good in my approach to it.
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – The Mock Turtle drew a long breath and said: “That’s very curious” (Photo credit: Wikipeddown the rabbit hole of change.
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