The voices have been busy again. The Beater-Upper is particularly loud. My issue with her is that she is shrill and relentless. I know I messed up, I don’t need the shrewish nagging in my inner ear. It’s throwing off my balance. I’m trying to move forward but I can’t focus clearly.
I don’t mind that I’ve screwed up. It took a finger load of decades to recognize and accept the imperfect moments will outnumber the perfect. It’s the human learning curve. I am at peace knowing perfection is a mutable trait. Perfection is a fickle tease. It’s not her fault. She knows she’s not the belle of the life-ball forever, so she circulates, laughing and scattering her moments through the masses. Some are squandered and some are obsessively cherished. They will not last but chances are good that there will be more delicious moments with Perfection. In the interim I try to laugh at my mistakes and learn from them. I try to be as forgiving and kind as I believe the Divine would be. But then there’s the Beater-Upper.
This is where Loving Kindness steps in. She’s super shy. She doesn’t like raising her voice to be heard over the B-U’s screech. She’s not much of a talker, unless I coerce her into saying daily affirmations with me for a spell. She really hates a fuss, she just wants to “be”. But she’s stable and constant. She never takes it personally that I don’t immediately go to her when I’m in a funk. She reminds me I’m doing my best and she’ll encourage me to make my best effort before conceding defeat.
I think the Beater-Upper has screamed herself into a coma while I was writing about L-K. It’s nice when that dervish isn’t raising a ruckus in my head. I’m going to spend the rest of the day with Loving Kindness. Perfection likes to drop by when we hang out so it might be a great afternoon.
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