begin again

The Golden Globes are this Sunday and  Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are hosting.  That should be fun – as far as awards shows go.  I have a love/hate relationship with them.  They’re broad and far-reaching, and generally miss the mark when tallying the “Best” of whatever they’re awarding.  There are always great films or performances that didn’t get considered.  Frankly, at the end of the day they’re just another beauty pageant.  I don’t like beauty pageants, but I like actors and filmmakers and I like seeing people all scrubbed up in their finery.  Art, talent and beauty are subjective and the awards are decided by a bunch of people with varying tastes.  People of the human persuasion that make mistakes and screw things up.  But it’s just an awards show.  It’s entertainment.  That said, I do use the lists of nominees to track films I might have missed throughout the year.

On Monday I went to see Rust and Bone (De Rouille et l’Os) with Marion Cotillard (nominee best actress/film, drama).  It’s not a perfect film, but it’s a good film and she gives a great performance.   I’m happy that the first film I saw in 2013 was not a dud, it’s a nice way to begin the year.  Then I realized that the film, and her performance were all about new beginnings and starting over.

*Spoiler Alert*  Marion Cotillard’s character has to learn to live without legs after an accident.  She has to start over physically and mentally.  She has to redefine herself with her co-workers, she has to rediscover her sexuality, she has to re-learn how to be in the world.  She also has to learn to walk again with prosthetics.  She’s a very fast learner in the film.  The male lead, Mattias Schoenaerts is learning to be a father.  He and his son are starting over in a new town.  He starts new jobs and relearns an old skill to better support his family.  The two leads learn how to respect each other in their relationship.  Schoenaerts gives an equally stellar performance but he’s not popular enough to have made it to the GG inner circle.

I thought about how eager and happy I am to start the new year.  It’s a clean slate!  But it’s not really.  The things that happened last year don’t come undone.  This is the year I learn to live without both parents.  Those days in mid-May and mid-June will be odd. I’ve grown accustomed to tuning out the static of the Mother’s Day campaigns, but I think this year will be different again.  We’re always starting over.  The past few months I’ve been re-learning how to live in my hometown, a city so different from the one I grew up in but achingly familiar.  I’m re-learning how to live with in a family after being on my own for almost fifteen years.  Every day is something new.

We’re always starting over, and we’re always learning.  Every day is a brand new opportunity.