no more harsh truths

When I began studying yoga and Ayurveda I could not reconcile the first two Yamas.  I”m going to grossly simplify things and say that the Yamas and Niyamas, there are five of each, are the commandments of yoga.  The first echoes the Golden Rule, Do No Harm.  The second is to Practice Truthfulness.  And that’s where I stumbled.  I want to be brazenly honest, but that kind of boldness can buck against the feel good ethos of zero harm.

The truth hurts.

There are hard truths in life.

“You can’t handle the truth!” – Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men

Why is being frank synonymous with brutal honesty?  Why must the truth be ugly?

Today my challenge was to speak the truth, but be mindful to do no harm at the same time.  It was no small challenge.  Sure there’s the worn out adage “If you’ve got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.”  It is a noble tactic, but this was not a time for silence.  When gathered around a hospital bed with an oncologist using the words ‘prognosis’ and ‘palliative’, the silent treatment is not a sound option.  I had to tread carefully while navigating a minefield of deadly words.

I checked the intention behind my words.  What was the essence of the truth I needed to convey?  Could I speak the truth without brutalizing the patient’s spirit?  Could I communicate the truth but edit out the harsh part?  I needed to speak the truth, but not the harsh truth.  Nothing more, nothing less.

Speak the truth, but not the harsh truth.  That is the key to the yogic dilemma.  The truth can set you free.