Motherhood is one big lifestyle reality show for Samantha. She looks like someone on TV with her oversized head and bleached smile. Based on a score card of her invention she is an exceptional mother. Just because she can get my kids to eat cauliflower doesn’t mean she’s a better mother. Time will tell. Her seven year old already knows he’s gay but Samantha hasn’t looked him in the eye since he outgrew wearing Robeez slip-ons. Her daughter’s future food pyramid will have prescription meds as the base.
At her last effortless and perfect brunch she poisoned my kid with her gluten-free pancakes stuffed with ricotta. Apparently homemade and gluten-free nullifies Brianne’s lactose intolerance.
She claimed ricotta has minimal lactose and that Bri’s reaction was due to withdrawal from the toxins in her regular diet. I kept the voicemail. My lawyer says it’s a solid case and we’ll clean up on damages.
8 min on the F train 8.29.14
Prompt from transit ad for food delivery
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