A long time ago at a party in LA a young man told me I “wasn’t long for this world”. He was looking at my palm. He had no credentials and it was completely unsolicited. His tone was sober despite the Ecstasy and alcohol I had seen him ingest. To say I was uneasy is an understatement. I was glad when the woman beside me projectile vomited and hastened my date and I to call Read more
I’m sick of this dialogue. I’ve been having it since I was a likkle girl. At first it wasn’t so much a dialogue, but the diatribe of daddy’s instruction on how to navigate the double standard. Triple if mommy was talking. But mostly it was daddy with his regular lectures on race and our place on that tightrope balanced between two worlds. Monday to Friday was PB and J but weekends were for guava jelly Read more
I have a three syllable name. It is not uncommon for people to immediately want to truncate it. The other day a man I’ve met a handful of times called me Kim in greeting, it was warm and friendly and harbored no ill will. I don’t remember what automatic acknowledgement I gave, a smile, a nod, or a wave but my nephew who witnessed it all laughed. “You did not like that at all.” It’s Read more
Pandemic days. Every day is not the same. That is a myth perpetrated by nostalgia. I’ve clocked many hours on Zoom (a platform I knew nothing about 8 weeks ago). I wonder if the blue light protection in my glasses is diminished every time I clean the lenses. Thoughts ricochet like pandemic pinball. I think about snacks. I think about hydration. I have no-Zoom days but they are few. I take regular breaks to ensure Read more
We are mostly water. A gallon of water weights 8.34 pounds. The human heart on average is less than a pound. To be all heart is not nearly that substantial. The biggest human brains are 3.5 lbs at most. But what is the weight of the largest organ, the skin? What is the weight of your skin? Melanin rich skin weighs more. It is thicker. It must be. It remains resilient to the lashes of Read more
When I was a girl, the aunties were everything. They had the best outfits, told the best stories, gave the best presents. They also unleashed the worst punishment. They could have me in stitches one minute and then cut me down to dejected outcast with a stinging word. Jamaican aunties are unabashed truth talkers. And they know how to make a point, in fact they will make it five different ways to be clear. But Read more
I am a failed bulimic. I couldn’t ever get the purge part right. I loved the eating part – if it was a food I loved I just wanted to keep enjoying the delicious sensations. I would ignore the protests of my stomach to satisfy mouthfeel cravings.Chocolate, yes. But also fresh bread with butter, salty butter, salty cheese. Creamy cheese – less cream cheese, more buttery tangy cheese. And butters of all kinds – seeds, Read more
I started this year with a forty day gratitude challenge. It seems a lifetime ago. The challenge was a mental health exercise which seemed timely then and prescient now. A wise friend once told me that while you’re practicing gratitude you’re incapable of having a pity party; it’s like sneezing with your eyes open. Not possible. I set up the challenge as a forty day sadhana. Sadhana, from Sanskrit, is a disciplined spiritual practice to Read more