A Hologram for the King by Dave Eggers
Ah, the first Monday of a brand new year. So sparkly and shiny and perfect I don’t want to sully it. Just like putting the first mark in a new notebook, I dread the first mistake. But the page can’t stay blank forever. Just like life. I want to jump in, full on, all in. That is what it is needed to be present and alive to the experiences of our existence. The good and the bad. Enjoy the laughter and embrace the pain at the root of the tears. Stuff happens in life. That stuff makes us who we are. But do I have to wear the mistakes and the bad stuff like a mourning shawl or a permanent tattoo? NO. I decided. Shit is going to happen. I’m going to make mistakes. But my definition comes from within, from the space within and around the organs where the experiences are digested and absorbed.
Did that comment from my godmother at Christmas fester in my liver? Is that bile going to ooze into my interaction with that actress I see in waiting rooms all the time? I can choose to flush it from my system before the poison can brew any more. Will the laugh with my sister bring extra oxygen into my lungs and charge my blood with an extra dose of O2? Will the bank teller hear that lightness in my voice when I ask if there is any possibility of waiving the fee? I don’t know about the fee, but I know I can feel good about asking.
I don’t know all the answers. Sometimes I pretend that I have the answers, for that moment, that day, that mystery. It’s a choice. Everyday there are new choices. And everyday I get to decide.
I’m going to turn up and get in the ring. I’m going to make mistakes, but I’m turning up. And I will learn… from the mistakes. That’s the manifesto for 2013.
0 Comments